i passed a year

hola folks !

:3

time for a long post, at least i hope so
it came to my mind lately so i decided to pour it down here haha !
you dont need to read it if you dont want to ~




the pin point is a year ago
though its not exactly the same date but i feel to post it real soon, its just passed few days ago hehe

yeah i resigned from my job
strange ?
yes, strange it is
im still in my academic year but secured a job, luckily
im not even throw myself already into the somewhat competitive job market where all the freshgrads from all over this country and universities gather to look for jobs and working for a company
just couple of month from my graduation from the university, i decided to resign from my job.
the decision is come out of sudden, i did when a chance was came

the place where i belong was a good company, im so sure to say that now
ive seen some things too at other places
ive feel things too at different places hoho
my position was not so bad after all
i believe it is

compared to my study, what i did almost have nothing to do with my job
im studying dutch studies for 4 years
then i founded something
yup, i made a technological startup
something that have no relation with dutch language or so at glance hahaha
i dont have any programing minor

more or less i may say im co-founding
it was started as a project
one of my friend texted me and asking for a feedbacks on the prototype
as a kind request then i review and test it, feedbacks sent
the respond was surprising, he asked me to come to his office
since i got plenty of free time then i decided to come
the office located far more  at the east of the city
from the train station it takes 15-20 mins to get there
there were no angkot route huhu

i was welcomed at the office and then brought to the meeting room
the office was not so big, but it is a two storey office
then started the chit-chat asking all thing here and there
and then came the other two persons
woah we shared the same almamater, of course with faculty differences
they say that they need a team member, then out of blue asking of my cv
so i asked for internet access then show them anyway
im still convicing that i dont have so technical background
do i really fit for a team member?
they noticed that i did some things that touched entrepreneurial things
they just asked me right away and told me that i can join them if i want to
and i say yes
now im a marketeer ~ it rhymes like musketeer right?

my days with job is starting
i woke up in the morning then go to the office
still its not like the office that makes you wake up in the early morning and hit the road
pretty flexible on the jam masuk, 8-10 AM still fine, sounds good right?
its located far, so far from where i live
by train, regularly take me at least one and half hour, including the transits
things may gone bad if troubles happened with the train schedule and also the train

i am the lucky number 14, hmm though i prefer number 13
its a startup, quite plenty of team members to starts
it takes no time for me to get into the system
there is a good company culture, i found its good anyway
i started and guided to do market research
a research to find the market for the prototype
i do it anyway, as im feeling like running my own business
im feeling good and things are fine

once i grind my gears haha
i happenend to work with somebody that really goes for the details
it shocked me and im trying to get a grip
for your info, im working previously not so organized
i depend on my scattered notes in my notebook and more on my memory
my memory sometimes out of work and i can say "lupa" because i really missed it
then come a huge load of works and i cant handle things like usual
honestly im feeling the tense if i cant do my work well
i cant work in a rigid and repetitive way
later i learned that i can not do things that so well, its inevitable anyway, i still need to be able to do it

to catch up i immerse myself with books
i learn things from books and try them right away in my hi paced office life hahaha so fun
after the launching, the product get a good response but its not enough
we compete with other technological company with lot of fundings though

the company finaly do a pivot and making it into the core business
i think i succeed in developing a product
we need to overcome many hard situations  with plans and strategies we got under our sleeves
turns out that up til now it is still growing and funding itself independently, in short, bootstrapping

money is another thing to me
i dont really working for the money here
im growing, i work like an engine, hot engine that run so fast
good people doing good business
the benefits were not in a form of money, i learned so many new things i feel happy so far

one day an info came to me, an opening of new reataurant
i applied for it, with nothing in mind
it sounds funny
i have a good job anyway

i have a dream myself
yeah, being a white collar that works nine to five, that would simply killing me
thus, i love run a business, innovations and tech stuffs
before that i put food
cooking to be precise
i cant be cooking for living if i stayed here
i want to get a step closer to my dream
so i give it a shot
disregarding my study background, and no diploma nor experience i go anyway

its a resignation
everyone asking me why
its hard for me
why im leaving so sudden
they cheer me as i leave the office
everything is strange for me
i feel sad too, to leave such a good place
the line "jangan sampai menyesal" hit me hard but i can ignore it for the things that coming
im leaving my comfort zone
leaving my growing box
start things with nothing
i started something that i called myself berkelana, mengembara or such
-----

i got in somehow
i met a friend of mine in the kitchen
i aim for a position in the kitchen but im taken to another place
i started as a waiter
its uncommon and everyone was doubt me
i worked a little hard, everything is new, i have to adapt soon
clean things, mop, deliver things,memorize menu, also being yelled
im a university graduates and working like this, many people might say that im crazy
the pay?
its low, its not something to dramatize my story
i dont mind anyway, just taking it like a step into the resataurant industry
outside of the working hour i practice myself to deliver better service
i started to know what to do and the how
soon im having regulars and get some more, somebody who preferred to be served by me
just soon it works i smell fishy things
yup, fishy competion. something that i dont like to have while working, unhealthy one

later i try to find my way into the kitchen
i tried to ask the chef to let me in
the operational hour get so busy and i proposed to be a help in the kitchen
also im thinking its a way to get off from the fishy thing
voila
im a dj now
doing the show, mixtapes of shaking plates, woks, pots, pans
all dirty works you can imagine, im doing it
on some case i get the feel of not welcomed, maybe just my feeling
i can interact well with the higher ups in the kitchen, but not with the rest of the staff unfortunately
well i dont know how, i just ignore it and try to do things at my best
i can get my hands too for the knives and do the preperations
not yet for the stove during the operational hours, not yet

so i resign
i give up, the management do cheats
it is too much for me to see people do business an cheats at the same time
there were troubles on my payment and also my contracts
things dont run as it should be, its better to stop
its a regret that i leave a good job for a mess like this one

my chef called me and we talked for an hour
he wants me to explain why am i leaving and quit
im just saying that i dont quit cooking
i said "you can call me anytime, but not here"
he said "drop in anytime for a beer"

my friend, who later few months get fired
came to me and argued with me for hour
we talked in english so that others cant understands
"no, i dont quit cooking, you can count on me" i said
thanks to him i can get there too
------------

and the last three months i got work again
im seeing this like a freelance job
once again handling the marketing stuffs
haha, im being an office kid
truly an office kid that gets in at 8 and get off at 6
suffer the magical traffic jam also *sigh

i continue to read books and articles
its a habit that i try to have, it is from the previous job that demands me to learn all things about marketing and business
i realize myself that im being responsible of my own growth
as i want to excel then i need to learn all things isnt it?
job is just a tool in life

again "jangan sampai menyesal" line hit me hard
im leaving but i cant stick a job and even not happy doing it
i felt ashamed and put the shame on you too
but this time, today, i can say "no, im not"
i can be smiling when i say this

i may be seperated from the startup but i decided to not sit in disappointment
im happy too to see you are growing much more than before
i have to grow even more, take steps to chase down my dreams
you are my team, my family
someday i will back and build another startup under the same roof

some days from now, maybe i will try to find my way back into the kitchen
or maybe i founded a startup of my own
lot of things i should do for the dreams i want to seize
so wish me luck

-garuru